From one end of the spectrum to the other I have traveled. Sometimes multiple travels in the span of a second or two. But for the most part - yesterday morning/day 1/8 hours as a nonsmoker - I did good. I awake praising and praying to God. I got showered. I moved slower than normal, and I altered my thoughts a couple times, but I was proud and I did good. Driving to work, I did good. Talking to people - I did okay, I guess. Not my usual kind, sweet self. This new self was direct and uncaring. Hopefully that will change.
From around hour 16 on - I have prayed Good God Almighty MANY times, one time even praying that he keep me from strangling my children, which I would never physically do but they were just jumping up and down on that nerve that nicodemon was using to remind me of how much I missed just walking away and sitting outside with a cigarette. HMPF! It was raining this morning, so I'm good.
I'm babbling now. Other items of interest - I left work early yesterday to come home and take a nap. It helped I am sure - whether it's the nicotine leaving the body or fighting the body or depression over missing the stinky bastards (I put water in my jar - holy moley - it smells) - I am tired and I am going to get some more sleep today. I have not used the nicotine gum, and probably won't. I have faith in cold turkey. Even though I am only using my brain to write this post - it definitely doesn't feel as foggy as it did yesterday. I think if I just work to change the way I do other things for a bit - I'll quit linking them to smoking - like walk down the stairs backwards or use both hands to let the dogs out OR I could put their leashes on and take them for a walk! Then I'd get the exercise everyone is telling the newbies we need on Cessation Nation FB app.
I HATE THAT I SMOKED! AND WHAT IT IS DOING TO ME NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I didn't drink any water yesterday - just finished 1st bottle (2 8oz cups) today - going to get another - I want to flush that damn nicotine out as fast as possible.
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